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Fred Plays Assassins Creed II

Published December 7, 2009 in Console Games
By Fred Topel | Image property of respective holders
Assassins Creed IIAssassins Creed II
Okay, Assassins Creed II is awesome once you get past all the plot parts. I had to warm up to it, but now that I’m into the free running it’s cool. Once you’re past the setup, you can really just pick the cool standalone missions that let you run around.

Review: Assassin's Creed II

They make it really easy. Just hold the right buttons and you can pretty much climb or bounce off anything in the environment. There are of course frustrating sections where you mean to jump onto a ledge and the game sends you off the roof, but it’s a video game. It’s supposed to frustrate you. Otherwise it’s low maintenance Parkour.

The environmental touches are nice, mostly that people comment on your dangerous moves. It’s a nice little answer to the fact that you’re the only guy in town with such awesome daring do, and realistically people should be afraid that you’ll trample them. You do get to be a D-bag and brush people aside, though I prefer to just run around them. Even in video games I’m a nice guy.

I’m not a fan of the plot, which is just a personal difference with this genre of game. Every time they start talking or playing animated cut screens, that’s just other crap you have to do in between cool stuff. Assassin’s Creed II is a wonderful, detailed experience for those who are into this sort of game. Me, I’ll just free run around town without accepting any missions that’ll eat up my free time with non playable scenarios.

There are LOTS of cut scenes. Granted, there’s a lot of plot to set up early on, but to me, this is just holding up game play. You can’t skip them either, although that’s probably for my benefit. I wouldn’t know what I was doing if you could. There’s a lot of talking during the game too. I mean, they have to explain things to you while the game is going on too.

I’m not impressed by all the profanity. Swearing doesn’t give the story more legitimacy. It actually gives it less, although when Lucy told Desmond to shut the f*** up, I was right with her. I’m certainly not impressed by getting to push buttons to move along love scenes. I’m a grown man. I don’t get any thrill from video game avatars having sex. If I want to have sex, I know what games to play for that.

Of course, all my complaints are easy to circumvent. I could still just not solve the missions and run around freestyle, get my jollies that way. Once I got over the hump, I got into the awesome pretty quick.

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Fred Topel
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