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Vince Fires Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Published August 15, 2005 in Movie Reviews
By Vince Palomarez | Images property of Columbia Pictures
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Schneider is back in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
There comes a time in a man's life where he has to step up and take one for the team. Even though the situation he is putting himself into is a bad one, he knows it's for the better of the group. For you, my loyal readers (all 10 of you……and no mother, you don't count), I have done this act of bravery and endured 85 minutes of torture the likes of which no man, woman or child should ever experience. Yes I know any sane person would realize that I'm walking into a disaster, but my curiosity always gets the best of me and I just had to know how bad it really was. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is as bad as they come and you should stay as far away from this film as possible.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Review

I've always had this thing about sequels. They need to come out by a certain time (at least within 4 years) in order to be good or at least capitalize on their success. Anything past that and you're looking at a train wreck of magnitude proportions. Coming out 6 years after the first one was not a great start for Deuce, add in the fact that there was no logical reason for a sequel to be made in the first place and you can understand why I hated this movie so much. Obviously the people that made this film feel the same way since the director decided he'd rather use a fake name then get credit for making such a horrible movie.

Imagine a film so unfunny any person stoned out of their mind couldn't find a laugh and you'll get an idea of how bad Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is. This film is nothing but 85 minutes of dick, fart and weed jokes that are so unfunny you could watch CSPAN for a day and find something funnier than what Deuce Bigalow has to offer.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
If you've seen the theatrical trailer, not only have you seen the first 10 minutes of the movie (I kid you not), but you also get the entire plot and most of the funny (or what they try to pass as funny) moments of the film. The smart idea would've been to release Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo straight to DVD instead of in the theaters. At least the DVD release would spare people who've seen this film the humiliation of watching all the theater employees laugh at them for paying to see Rob Schneider's pitiful attempt at trying to be funny. This storyline is so predictable and unoriginal that it boggles my mind that somebody actually said to Rob Schneider, "Hey I think people will like that, here's $22 million, go make yourself a hit!" More than likely it was Adam Sandler who probably feels sorry for Rob being the only one from their SNL days unable to find work……other than in an Adam Sandler film.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Schneider is back in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Bad movies don't get as bad as this and you'd be best to stay far away from Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Many of the jokes that made the original slightly entertaining are brought back for the sequel and show how little effort was put into this. If you're really looking for something funny to see this weekend or week I would suggest seeing Wedding Crashers again, because even though you already know what's coming, I guarantee you it's ten times more funny than anything Deuce Bigalow has to offer. Rob Schneider can you do me a favor and give me a call the next time you're out spending my money because I need to be reminded about how much of an idiot I was for paying to see your film. Hopefully the rest of America will heed my warning and not give into the dark side that is a Rob Schneider film.


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Vince Palomarez
Sources: Images property of Columbia Pictures

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